We have all experienced those turning points in our lives. The moments when we make a decision which changes everything. Where we know that right then and there, we are re-defining ourselves and shifting the course of our life.
These opportunities often fill us with pangs of inner conflict. One voice beckons us back in to the security of our comfort zone, yet another pulls us forward so powerfully that we simply can’t say no.
We can either keep on cruising on the same old track, or we can veer off path and forge our own trail. We can literally re-define our future and write a brand new script for our life.
These are the moments where one decision changes everything. These are our daring moments. Where we teeter on the edge of fear. Where life dares us to take the leap.
Say yes or say no.
Act on your heart or listen to fear.
Stay or walk away.
Step up or keep hiding.
An opportunity presents itself. We feel the pull. But we falter. We hesitate. We step back. We take time to think. We over-analyse. We worry.
When really all we need to do is just say yes.
It is in these moments that life calls at you;”So sweetheart, what’s it going to be?”Are you gonna keep playing that same game you always play, or are you going to do something differently? Are going to step up? Are you going to say yes? Well, here’s your chance. Show me what you got.”
The Daring Moments That Changed My Life
I have experienced many of these dramatic shifts over the past few years. My daring moments have been turning points, where I have made a decision that have changed the course of my entire life.
13th November 2009
I will never forget the day I hit publish on my first ever blog post at a life of perfect days. I was literally terrified. The idea of having my innermost thoughts and feelings, live on the internet for all to see, seemed crazy. Back then it was still new to have a blog and people asked me why on earth I would want to share myself so publicly.
But I had a message. It was a message that had been sitting inside of me for way too long. It was time to share it. It was time to be seen. The desire to give my words a platform to be heard, became stronger and more powerful than the fear I felt. And so I did it. My journey of blogging began on that day, and has now continued for the past 4 and a half years.
23rd October 2012
This was the day I signed for up my life coach training. It was the day I finally said yes to the desire that had been bubbling within me for 9 years. It was the day I finally found the courage to follow my heart.
I was on the phone to the course consultant, palms sweaty, with adrenalin pumping through my body. I had been deliberating on doing this course for 12 months and I simply couldn’t delay it any longer. The conversation was a blur. I gave her my credit card details and locked myself in. I got off the phone, shaking. I knew I had made a decision that would change my life forever.
1st November 2013
I had been waiting for this day for months. The final day at my full time job. I had been in a hectic transition period for most of the year, trying to juggle full time work, a part time coaching business while still completing my life coach training. And now my moment had arrived. I could finally spend every single day doing the work that I was born to do.
As I packed up my belongings people asked me what I was planning on doing. All I could say was “I don’t know”. I had a few part time clients, $1000 in my savings account and no plan. But I knew I was doing the right thing. I showed up so fully for that journey, and within 6 weeks had a full time load of coaching clients and had launched conniechapman.com. I have never felt so scared in my whole life, yet at the same time I have never felt so supported and guided either.
Nothing Happens Until You Decide
All of these moments have been transformative for me. One decision has quite simply changed the course of my life.
When you stand on the edge of these turning points, you do not need to know what is going to happen. You don’t need to know how it is going to unfold. All you need to do is say yes.
Nothing happens until you decide. The money you need will not show. The opportunities will not present themselves. Not a single shift will occur. You have to decide first.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” Goethe.
Change Happens The Minute You Say Yes To Your Heart
There is a common theme that has run through each of these turning points.
In each of these moments I made the decision to follow my heart. I chose to act on what I loved, rather than being ruled by the voice of fear. I chose to believe in a new possibility, rather than my own programming
In each of these situations I have been so wracked with fear that I could barely breathe. But below the fear was another energy. It was a calm, encouraging, powerful energy. It was the energy of my heart telling me that the step I was about to take was the most perfect, aligned and right thing I could possibly do.
In each of these moments, I felt that the love I had for what I wanted, and the desire I had to express my truth, was more powerful than my fear. It literally pulled me beyond it.
The voice of love was calling at me. Calling me to expand, to grow and to become more. It tugged at me. And when I listened to it, and trusted it whole-heartedly, it propelled me beyond my fear.
Choose Love Or Succumb To Fear. What’s It Going To Be?
In every moment you are choosing which energy will rule your life. Fear will cause you to withdraw, shrink, hesitate, hide and say no. Love will call you to step out, expand, decide, be seen and say yes.
You can choose. Be dominated by fear, or be lifted by love. It’s up to you.
The only way I was able to make the decisions I did, was by going deeper in to myself, to listen, to feel, to tune in to the guidance that lay below my frantic mind. I made that deep, inner, loving voice, more real than the fear-driven voice of my mind.
In each of those moments I could have chosen to believe in fear. To buy in to the limitation. To let it stop me. But I made a different choice. I chose love. I chose to do what I loved. I chose to listen to the loving choice. I chose to say yes to my heart.
Was it easy? No. Was I petrified? Yes. But did I feel the most alive that I have ever felt in my entire life? Abso-freaking-lutely. It was magic.
And this will be your daring moment. The moment where you decide to say yes to your heart, to follow what you love and do something differently. The moment where you choose to stop hesitating, avoiding and procrastinating and you show up fully for what you want. The moment you act in the face of fear. The moment you say yes, to you.
What has been the most powerful and life-altering daring moment you have experienced? Share with me in the comments below.
Filed Under: Blog, Heart & Soul, Transformation
We all have a moment in our lives where we something happened that changed the course of our lives. Sometimes it’s a choice: to move house or stay put, and sometimes it just happens: a breakup or a death. We are all going to have a time in our lives where we look back and say that nothing would be remotely the same if it weren’t for X.
It doesn’t have to be good. Sometimes it can be a terrible thing that causes a terrible turn in life events. Sometimes it can be good thing that causes a great turn in life events. Other times it can be a terrible thing that results in a positive turn in ones life.
The latter is the one we struggle with the most. Something terrible happens and then months, years, or decades later we realize we wouldn’t be in this great situation or doing this great thing if that terrible thing hadn’t happened. Sometimes it’s more innocuous than others: you are in a terrible car accident and it’s not your fault (no one is killed) and the insurance money allows you to invest in building the company of your dreams; other times feeling good leads to guilt: a top oncologist who loves his job and has saved hundreds of lives, but who never would have considered that career path had his mother not died of cancer.
It is certainly something I’ve struggled with. The death of my younger brother led to a dramatic change in my family. At 10, I suddenly became an only child. My parents divorced soon after. I became privy to a much more grown up aspect of the world, and while this may not have always been good for me, it allowed me to become a more independent, analytical thinker.
After my parents’ divorce I spent more time in the U.S. (my mom is American and my Dad is British) and decided I wanted to go to University there. My mom supported me in this endeavor, and here I am 6 years after moving here for college, still in the U.S. and happier than I ever was in England (this is not meant offensively to England or my friends or family there). I was able to learn things at school I never would have if I’d gone straight to medical school. Having seen my friends in university and medical school in England, I know I would never have been happy with that. I was able to move to a new country and develop a whole new set of interests that will hopefully better inform my life choices and career in the future.
What does this have to do with “the turning point” and guilt? Well, this never would have happened had my brother not died. My parents would likely not have divorced in my early teens, allowing me to choose to follow one parent’s wishes against the other’s. They would have stayed together and decided “together” that it was best for me, and the family, if I stayed in school in England. Without a parent to support my endeavors, I would have never applied to school in the U.S. and who knows how different my life would have been? Maybe I would already be a doctor by now. All the negative events created a situation that allowed me to do what I wanted in this way.
But the thing is that I honestly can’t see myself being happy in that situation, and my life would be so different and so much more closed off. Having experienced the death of a family member has allowed me to relate to others in ways I wouldn’t have been able to, it allowed me to realize that life is short and to take advantage of what we have when we have it, it was not a good time of my life obviously but the sayings about “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and “you need the bad to recognize the good” do seem to ring true for me.
If someone took me back in time and gave me the choice, would I choose his death? Of course not. But it did happen and I realize that despite all the trauma and misery it caused it opened up a whole new world for me. It was my turning point, and without it I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Should I feel guilty for not forever wishing it hadn’t happened and sitting in misery? I hope not. Life happens. We all have events that change the course of our lives forever and I don’t think anyone should feel guilty for being happy with their life now even if the turning point towards the happiness was a truly horrible event. Because life goes on, and if something horrible happens, it is right for us to mourn, but it’s also right that, like life, we continue on.