Describe The World You Come From Uc Essay Example

UCLA is one of the most popular universities in California. In recent years, it has received a record number of applications. If the West Coast calls to you and you like the idea of finding your niche in a large top tier university, UCLA may be the school for you. If you’re still working on your responses to the UC essay prompts, these examples may help. 

One of the most sought-after UC schools, UCLA is a dream school for many Californians. More than 100,000 students applied to UCLA last fall, and the numbers are expected to remain the same for this upcoming application season. For those of you applying this Fall, the regular application filing period is November 1-30. If you’re still working on your UC essays, here are 5 successful examples that might inspire you to write yours: 

ClaireL

UC Los Angeles ‘20

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

It was my fault. I had chosen this topic for my math exploration, armed with only the feeblest grasp of actual concept. Music, math, and the harmonic series…I sighed. In the time-honored tradition of all students, I had turned to Google for succor. The words on the screen blurred together hazily. “Pythagoras discovered that a string exactly 1/nth its length produces a frequency n times the original frequency…” It just didn’t make sense: what did a bunch of numbers have to do with musical consonance? Read her full UCLA application essay.

Mbshark

UCLA ‘20

 

Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

A bright orange glow reflecting on the water, I love watching the sunrise at the beach. I grew up less than ten minutes away from the Atlantic and my early childhood memories include frequent trips to the beach. Although the beach is a stunning sight, the beach is not always pristine. My family and I regularly remove trash from the beach, including commercial fishing and industrial debris, particularly after storms, sometimes in quantities almost too heavy to carry. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

Cdougherty

UCLA ‘18

 

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Starting in 6th grade, I spent every summer at Jon Lee’s East Beach volleyball camp. Most kids came and went on a weekly basis, but I just stayed. There was nowhere else I would rather have been, than at East Beach playing volleyball with my friends. I loved it so much that I sought out faster improvement, committing to more formal training with an AVP professional player. View his full successful UCLA profile.

Cotoole

UCLA ‘19

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

T-shirt. I had never heard of DECA before. Curious, I asked him more about it, and learned that it was “a club for, like marketing and business”, as he called it. Her persuaded me to join and we planned to compete together in the Sports and Entertainment Marketing Team even. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

WyTeav

UCLA ‘21

 

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  

I can read koalas with turtles and I can eat ice cream with friends in North Korea. This is all possible due to the power of Photoshop. Photoshop is like a straw that allows people’s eyes to drink from my imagination. I can make anything and put it anywhere; from sea monsters in the ocean to winged toasters at my birth. For nearly four years, I have used Photoshop to express myself in an adventurous way, one that offers me wider avenues than music or writing do. I am constantly improving my photoshopping abilities and therefore expanding the limits of my expression. Unlock his full UCLA profile read his application!

Applying to college?

View the app files and essays of accepted students.

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Are you looking to apply to UC Schools? or just starting to build out your college list? Make sure to search through profiles of students accepted to see essays, stats, and advice. See how they got in, and how you can too!

About The Author

Frances Wong

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.




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Describe The World You Come From - With A Free Essay Review




PROMPT: Describe the world you come from and how it has shaped who you are?

If I could present my world as a painting, it would most certainly be colourful and vibrant.

I was born in South Africa into a family of four; my mother, father, brother and I. I am very influenced by my mother; she would be the perfect example of “a strong, independent woman”. She is clever and beautiful. My father was almost never around due to his work, even though he didn’t play a large role in my childhood, I still loved him a lot. My father always encouraged me to be adventurous and travel, and normally he would also be the “sponsor”.

I was cultivated in the very different surroundings of China, the United States and South Africa. Travelling and constantly moving was second nature to me. I travelled frequently between four continents and lived back and forth between three. But I’ve never thought of this as disadvantageous, instead, it’s a plus to me rather than a minus.

Since both of my parents are Chinese; even though I was born in South Africa, China was the country where I spent most of my childhood. It was the most influential on my view of academics; I place more value on school than I might have. With one of the most competitive learning environments in the world, the atmosphere made me very diligent and hardworking.

South Africa is a fascinating country, diverse in every way. On the east coast where the Indian Ocean is, there is the busiest port in South Africa, Durban, where I spent my early teenage years. This country has influenced me the most personally in the shaping of my personality; it is where I learnt my English, where I was first exposed to the western culture, where I met people from the most diverse backgrounds. I’ve heard people refer to the United States as a “melting pot”, I agree it is quit diverse, but in my opinion South Africa was the “great melting pot”.

The United States is entirely different from China and South Africa. Not just the language but in so many other ways as well. I feel not at all uncomfortable being in this foreign country. It is now my second year in America, I spent one year in Las Vegas and this year in New Rochelle. The United States would most likely be where my future lies; it is in this magnificent country where I would like to one day pursue my dreams.

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” The experience of new food, new cultures, new people and new languages has broadened my mind. Instead of imagining how things may be, I get to see them as they are. I’ve made friends that are from every part of the globe. I’ve celebrated holidays like Chinese New Year, 4th of July, Diwali and Freedom Day. All of these experiences have made me more independent and self-confident. It has been a remarkable privilege to have been able to live in such diverse surroundings. And I believe it is this privilege that has shaped me into the person that I am; a person that has read a few pages of the “book”, and is eager to read more!

ESSAY REVIEW

I think the truth here is that you don't really paint a colorful picture of your childhood, despite the fascinating facts of your several migrations. Having devoted a sentence to the influence of your mother, and sentence to the influence of your father, you spend one short paragraph on the impact of travelling, but your only conclusion is that traveling was a "plus," without specifying what you mean by that. You move on to say that you spend most of your childhood in China, but following that disclosure you devote no more than two sentences to your description of growing up in China and its impact on you. You say, in the next paragraph, that South Africa influenced you personally, but don't explain how. And so on, until you get to the last paragraph, which is actually a reasonable attempt to come to a general conclusion about the impact of being exposed to different cultures. Until the last paragraph, then, what you give your reader is a list of items. What you really need to do is to tell a story about something. The story needs to have a point, a message. Instead of one paragraph about the influence of your family, and one paragraph about the influence of traveling, and one paragraph about the influence of China, and so on, you need one _essay_ about the impact of, well, something. For instance, since you end up, in your final paragraph, talking about the benefit of being exposed to different cultures, why not make that the clear subject of your essay as a whole? If you want to do that, then I suggest that you start by taking the quotation that you use to open your final paragraph out of that paragraph and use it instead to open your essay; given how you end your essay, doing that would give a frame for the essay as a whole, and so contribute to its overall coherence.

Best, EJ.

Submitted by: Emma0828

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